2017-11-19 Thanksgiving
Gratitude in the Shadows: Giving Thanks When It Hurts
The Two Sides of Thanksgiving
We naturally thank God for the "easy" things: our health, our families, good friends, a successful year at work, or milestones like weddings and graduations. These are wonderful reasons to rejoice. However, I want to talk about something a bit more difficult: giving thanks for the things we aren't naturally "thankful" for.
The Misunderstanding of Constant Praise
In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, it says: “Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in everything, for this is God’s will.”
I once knew a man who took this verse to an irritating extreme. If he totaled his car, he’d say, “Praise the Lord! My car is totaled.” If he got the flu, it was, “Praise the Lord, I’m sick!” I think he got it wrong. That scripture is about trusting and gratitude, not about forcing yourself to feel happy about things that are genuinely painful.
How do you rejoice when facing the loss of a job, a miscarriage, a serious illness, or the death of a loved one? These tragedies affect us all. When life is going well, we often become complacent and take credit for our own happiness. Hard times remind us that we aren't in control, but giving thanks during those seasons is an act of profound faith. It is walking through the dark without seeing a light, trusting that God feels our pain and has a plan to bring us back to the joy.
Beauty from the Ashes
At the moment of impact, we don’t feel grateful. But later, we may see the good that grew out of the sorrow.
When we lost Carl, I was unable to give thanks. I cried, I begged God to change things, and I even went into the backyard and screamed at Him. I was crushed. Yet, during that overwhelming sorrow, I saw something new. I saw Ron’s dad hug him for the first time in our marriage. I heard his father say, “I love you, Ronnie,” for the first time. I saw his father return to church and saw their relationship grow deeper. For that, I was—and am—thankful.
I experienced something similar with my health. My arthritis started early; by thirty, I couldn't kneel, and by thirty-five, walking was a struggle. I used to sit in my car and cry as I watched people walk into the grocery store without a limp. I prayed for healing, but for years, it didn't come.
Seventeen years ago, I had both knees replaced. I recovered so well that I eventually earned my black belt—one of the only people to do so after bilateral replacements. But the true "thanksgiving" came from the perspective I gained. For years, my surgeon would ask me to speak to patients who were terrified of surgery. I could comfort them because I had been where they were. In my karate class, seeing an older woman with metal knees working hard encouraged others to get stronger. My pain became a platform to help others. For that, I am thankful.
A God Who Stays
Let’s be real: when tragedy strikes, we aren't expected to be "glad" it happened. It is okay to be angry and hurt. We don't have to pretend. But we do need to remember that God is good, He loves us, and He is standing right beside us in the disappointment.
We can give thanks for a God who works beyond our circumstances. Even when we can't see the "why," we can rely on Psalm 100:5: “For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.”
We can be thankful for:
A Savior who understands suffering.
The strength of God when our own is gone.
The Holy Spirit, who prays for us when we are too heartbroken to find the words.
This Thanksgiving
During this season, take time to look at what you have: precious memories, mementos of those who have gone before us, and the loved ones still with us. Reflect on the moments God felt close.
Make it a priority to say "thank you" to the people you cherish. Call a friend you haven't seen in a while or visit someone who might be alone. When you sit down for dinner, look at each other and be glad you are together.
If this is a "hard" Thanksgiving for you—and for some, it will be—remind yourself that God’s faithfulness never ceases. Tell stories of the past. Remember with fondness and even tears, but then look forward to the day when all tears will be wiped away and all pain will be gone.
Until then, we can truly say: Thank you, thank you, thank you, God.
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